Celebrity barrister and TV “judge” Rob Rinder recently shared his top tips for a divorce with the Daily Mail, and in doing so, he gave people shockingly poor advice.
Rinder is reported as saying that his advice is to stay from getting solicitors involved in their “decaying relationship if possible” – because sorting a situation out without a legal team can save time, money and heartache. He is quoted as saying “the more cash you spend, the worse it’s gone for you and the better for the lawyers”.
To be fair, his other tips are uncontroversial:
- If you have children together, accept there’s no such thing as a divorce – “you will be forever connected as co-parents”.
This is actually very good advice. Far too many people struggle to cooperate or work together in relation to their children after a split. I often advise clients that if they were struggling to communicate about their children before going to court, they will probably find it impossible afterwards. After litigation, most couples will truly loathe each other even more than they did beforehand. Going to court often destroys a couple’s ability to work together in relation to their kids. Wherever possible, people should try to use alternatives to court – by which I mean negotiation, mediation, collaborative law or arbitration.
- Avoid warring over money – while more cash can be earned, time spent at war is forever lost.
This is also very true. However, it does not mean that you should not use a solicitor. Good family lawyers will encourage you to use alternatives to court wherever possible. We recognise that non-confrontational methods of dispute resolution are often far better than litigation. For example, if both sides use a collaborative solicitor, they can try to resolve their dispute in a way that promotes co-operation and fairness, should allow the couple to part company amicably and feeling that they have agreed to a deal that achieves fairness and meets everyone’s needs, and especially their children’s.
- Remain dignified and avoid low blows: “The path to happiness is always along the high road. The other directions leads to nothing but expensive, toxic misery.”
I could not agree more. Family solicitors who specialise in dispute resolution will be keen to avoid unhelpful comments or barbs. Many of us are members of Resolution and abide by the Resolution Code of Practice.
However, the main point about not using a solicitor is downright wrong. Inevitably, the Mail has focused on this; I find it generally panders to people’s worst instincts and lawyer-hating is just one of them.
Mr Rinder’s reference to using a “legal team” is telling. Most people who use a solicitor if they divorce or separate will not have a legal team. They will usually have a single solicitor acting for them, probably supported by a secretary and maybe, in larger firms, a paralegal or a trainee solicitor. In more complex cases, they will instruct a barrister. I would hesitate to call that a team. To me, a legal team means more than one, possibly several, fully legally qualified solicitors, the sort of operation that would be offered to a wealthy TV celebrity divorcee by an expensive upmarket firm of London solicitors in the West End. I wonder if Mr Rinder may have been given a horrifyingly high quote by a firm like that.
Nevertheless, I do accept that using a solicitor when you get divorced is expensive, especially when you are involved a lengthy and acrimonious dispute with your ex. There are regrettably some cases where matters cannot be resolved easily and you have to use a solicitor to negotiate or failing that to litigate the dispute, with inevitably large legal bills. Where you can avoid this, you should of course do so, but to claim that you should never use a solicitor is madness, and frankly given his legal background, he should know better.
Mr Rinder specialised in criminal work as a barrister and he may be unaware of the importance of using a solicitor if you divorce – even if you and your spouse have agreed everything.
Just agreeing a split of your finances is not enough. Unless you obtain a financial consent order as part of your divorce, the agreement is probably not legally binding, it certainly cannot be enforced, any pension sharing or attachment cannot be implemented and there will be no financial clean break in place. Without a clean break ordered by the court, you are exposed to the risk that your ex may make a further financial claim against you in the future, whether that be for more of your assets, for spousal maintenance or against your estate after your death. Far too many people who do their own divorces do not realise that this necessary.
In a case where a client consults me and tells me that they have reached a financial agreement with their ex, my role to advise him or her on it. If having received that advice, they still wish to go ahead with the proposed agreement, then (provided that it is workable), my role is to draw up the financial consent order reflecting the terms of the deal between them and to then submit it to the court, along with a statement of information setting out their financial circumstances. The purpose of the statement is so that the judge can be aware of the parties’ finances and can assess whether the terms of the order are appropriate. In most cases, the judge will make the order; in a small number for cases the judge will initially reject the draft order and will return it to the solicitors asking for further information or explanation.
Drafting the order correctly is vitally important. Some prospective clients tell me that they intend to draft it themselves and I have to explain that drafting a financial consent order is a highly technical task. It is nowhere near as easy as it may look to an outsider. When I was a trainee solicitor back in the mid 1990’s, it took me a while to become proficient at drawing them up.
I recall one prospective client scoffing at this suggestion. He had seen the standard precedents that the court now prefers us to use and thought he could put it together himself. I explained to him that it was unlikely that he would be able to do so. It would be like him looking at a roll of cloth and thinking that he could make himself a suit out for it. Most people who tried to do that would struggle. If they managed to stitch it together, not only would it look awful, it would probably fall to pieces the first time they wore it.
The reality is that if the order is not done properly, it will cause havoc and vast expense later. Also, if you don’t get legal advice from a solicitor, you could be making a terrible mistake. I’ve seen many clients who did their own divorces and simply did not understand the ramifications of what they were agreeing to. Not seeking legal advice is a massive false economy.
11 March 2023
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