The breakdown of a relationship is one of the most stressful things that can happen to anyone. If your marriage or relationship is ending, you may feel very frightened about what the future will bring and you may dread having to go to the Family Court to argue about financial issues or arrangements for your children. Time and again, clients tell their solicitors that they want to resolve things in an amicable way.
Armstrong Family Law no longer offers a mediation service, but we do provide legal advice to clients who are using an independent family mediator.
Family mediation is an alternative to using the court to resolve a family dispute. Mediators are neutral and will not take sides in any dispute, but will meet with you and your spouse or partner and will identify those issues that you cannot agree on and then help you to try and reach agreement. Mediators cannot provide legal advice as they are impartial, and it is prudent for you to seek legal advice from a solicitor throughout the mediation process.
Family mediation is sometimes mistakenly thought of as being an alternative to using a solicitor. It isn’t; it’s an alternative to using the court. Solicitors are an important part of the mediation process. It is important to seek legal advice from a solicitor during the mediation process. Going to mediation with the benefit of legal advice increases the chances of reaching an agreement that is appropriate.
Family mediation is also sometimes confused with marriage guidance counselling; its not the same thing. The mediator’s role is not to help you save your marriage or relationship; the mediator’s job is to help you to reach an agreement about the future, particularly about arrangements for your children or financial issues in your divorce, dissolution or separation.
Unlike the Family Court, where the judge makes the decisions, in mediation, the responsibility for decision-making remains with you and your spouse or partner, not with the mediator. The mediator helps you both to decide what will happen.
Mediation has many advantages over court proceedings:
- you keep control of the outcome, rather than placing it in the hands of judges or magistrates.
- it is likely to be far less expensive than court proceedings.
- it is likely to be be much faster than court proceedings.
- in mediation you can agree to take into account factors that you agree are important, but which a judge might ignore
- in mediation you can come up with more imaginative solutions that the limited range of things that the court can order.
- in mediation you can agree to something that is different to what would be imposed by the court in the absence of an agreement. The court will usually approve your agreement, provided that it is coherent and that you have both received legal advice and have a full appreciation of the implications, even if it is not something that the court would have imposed if you were not agreed.
- mediation can enable you to remain amicable.
Mediation is suitable for disputes about financial issues at the end of a marriage or relationship, including what is to happen about your house, pensions and maintenance. If a decision is reached, the mediator will draw up a Memorandum of Understanding which you can then discuss with your solicitor, who can then sort out the paperwork necessary to finalise and implement the agreement.
It is also a good way to resolve disagreements about children, such as where they live and how often they see each parent. Mediated agreements about children are less likely to break down than arrangements imposed by a court.
Mediation is considerably less expensive than using the Family Court to resolve matters. For example, contested court proceedings to decide financial issues in a divorce can cost between £5,000 and £25,000 plus VAT per person, possibly more. Disputes about children can cost a similar amount. On the other hand, mediation is far, far less expensive.
There will be mediator’s fees to pay. They will usually be shared jointly between you. If you are mediating about arrangements for your children, you should be eligible for a government voucher worth £500 towards the mediator’s fees.
There will also be fees payable to your solicitor for advice and drafting documents which will be far lower than the costs that you might incur by going to court.
Mediation reduces hostility, helps you to make informed decisions about your future, avoids the cost and risk involved in Family Court proceedings and helps children by showing their parents working together to resolve issues.
As well as practising as a specialist family law solicitor since 1996, Jon Armstrong has also practised as a family mediator in the past. Although he no longer mediates between parties, he encourages many of clients to use mediation. He understands the process and when it can be the right route for a couple to resolve their differences. He can advise you whether mediation is suitable for you and if so, he can recommend a suitable mediator.
Jon’s role doesn’t end there; he can also advise you throughout the mediation process so that you can assess any proposals that are made and if agreement is reached, he can handle the complex paperwork necessary to formalise the agreement and to obtain a consent order from the Court.
To contact us about receiving legal advice in mediation, please telephone me on 01206 848426 or click here.
Want to avoid using the court, but not sure that mediation is right for you? Consider using the collaborative process instead.