Many clients who consult me say the same thing; they want to be amicable.
I’m all for that. Whenever you see divorce lawyers on television or in the movies, they are usually sitting at a table with their clients, husband and lawyer on one side and wife and her lawyer on the other. They sit there, scoring points of each other, while haggling in an aggressive and sarcastic manner.
Hollywood nonsense. It’s never like that, not even in the hardest disputes that end up in court. Modern divorce solicitors are usually much more constructive in their negotiations. Being confrontational doesn’t work well in family cases, where compromise is everything. Unlike civil and criminal litigation, family litigation is not about winning and losing, it’s about achieving a fair result that meets people’s needs.
Most family lawyers are members of Resolution (formerly known as the Solicitors Family Law Association). It was set up in 1982 when there was apparently a great deal of concern amongst solicitors that they were getting a reputation for making things worse, not better (I say apparently; I was only 13 then and my main concern was how I could pay for my next Airfix kit. But I digress).
Resolution’s Code of Practice compels its members to deal with matters in a constructive and non-confrontational way whenever possible, even when matters do go to court. In the last 15 years, I have encountered much less strident approach amongst family solicitors to resolving disputes. There has been an increasing realisation, promoted by Resolution, that being aggressive gets in the way of finding the solution. The Code still lets us take assertive action wherever necessary, but there is an atmosphere where we can reach a compromise when possible and appropriate.
Things go much further than just being nicer to each other in our negotiations. Resolution has promoted the introduction of collaborative law as a means of resolving disputes. This involves a much more amicable and co-operative process, which promotes working to together rather than against each other. Mediation is also increasingly common (and if the government gets its way, it will become the norm).
However, just because it’s amicable, don’t make the mistake of assuming that we can cut corners or do it on the cheap. The solicitors still need to do their jobs properly or the clients will have cause for concern. Solicitors will still advise you what is in your bests interests, especially when in a desire to be amicable, you might be accepting less than you should. It’s then up to you to make the decision about whether you go ahead with the deal from an informed perspective. Your solicitor will also advise you that you must sort out the paperwork properly. It’s no good being amicable, if you try to avoid the expense of getting a financial consent order from the court. That’s just asking for trouble and failing to sort everything it properly (albeit amicably) will just come back to haunt you one day.