Many people decide to represent themselves in Family Court proceedings as a litigant in person (LiP), usually because they are unable or unwilling to incur legal fees. This is especially the case where their income is low, but they do not qualify for legal aid because they are not victims of domestic abuse or they are eligible for legal aid, but they cannot find a legal aid solicitor who has the capacity to take them on.
If you decide to represent yourself at court, you should think very carefully before doing so .
You should resist the temptation to apply to the court at an early stage unless there is a genuine emergency. What you may consider to be an emergency may not be regarded by the court as one. Not being allowed to spend time with your children will not be regarded as an emergency; that is no more an emergency for you than it is for any other applicant in your position. An emergency will be things like a genuine danger that a child might be abducted by the other parent, or taken abroad without your consent, or where you need a non-molestation order to restrain someone from being abusive to you or to freeze an asset that the other side may dispose of to defeat your financial claim.
Unless there is a genuine emergency, it is usually far better to try to resolve the dispute by using alternatives to court, such as negotiation or non-court dispute resolution (NCDR) – i.e. family mediation, collaborative law, early neutral evaluations, private Financial Dispute Resolution appointments, or family arbitration. Applying to the court should be the last resort when all else has failed.
The court now has the power to refuse to deal with your application if it is not satisfied that sufficient efforts have been made to resolve matters using NCDR. In those circumstances, although it cannot order you to use NCDR, it can stay or adjourn your application until it is satisfied that sufficient efforts have been made. It can even order costs to be paid by one party if they have refused to use these alternatives without a good reason.
The reason that the Family Court gained these powers in 2024 was because for many years now, the court has been swamped by applications by LiPs. Many of those applications could be resolved by using NCDR, but where no effort to do that has taken place, often because people are unaware that it is a better option. The withdrawal of legal aid in most family cases in 2012 resulted in far fewer people getting legal advice to an early stage and, instead of being guided towards NCDR by their solicitors, they instead made an application to the court.
Many LiPs will be unaware of the danger that the court might refuse to deal with their application. That is just one reason why people who are going to represent themselves should get legal advice BEFORE they make the application. All too often, LiPs start applications and then decide to seek legal advice.
This is very unwise. Once court proceedings are underway, you are committed to a lengthy and onerous process. Many people have little conception of what is involved, nor can they be confident of the outcome if they have not received legal advice beforehand. They also frequently have a very subjective view of what the outcome will be, and confuse the difference between what they feel to be morally right and what the court will actually decide is legally right. The application will not take place in a court of morals, it will take place in a court of law.
LiPs frequently underestimate how difficult it will be to represent themselves. Once an application is underway, you cannot simply stop it. You can only leap off the conveyor belt if the other side agrees or if the court gives permission. Simply abandoning the process runs the risk of the court ordering you to pay the other side’s costs.
Before starting a court application, it is worth getting legal advice from a solicitor who specialises in family law. Details of accredited specialist family law solicitors can bound on the Resolution website. Very few family solicitors will provide free initial legal advice, but many will be prepared to offer an initial consultation for a discounted fixed fee, rather than at their full hourly charging rate. This is very good value for money. You can then ensure that you understand what the likely outcome may be and what all of your options are.
There is a still the problem that where you want to use NCDR, especially mediation, that although the mediator agrees that the case is suitable and then invites the other party to mediate, that other party then simply ignores the invitation. This may leave you with no alternative other than to start a court application.
NCDR has many advantages over court litigation. It tends to be less expensive, faster and more flexible than court applications.
Refusing to consider, for example, mediation is foolish unless there is a very good reason why mediation may be inappropriate (eg where there has been serious domestic abuse). Refusing to mediate means that you are probably condemning yourself to being the respondent in a long, stressful and perhaps very expensive court application.
Where court proceedings do take place, it is also a good idea for LiPs to use solicitors as and when needed on a limited Pay As You Go (PAYG) basis (also sometimes called “unbundled work”). This involves using a solicitor to do limited work, such as advice sessions or drafting some of the documents etc. This PAYG work can often be done for a fixed fee. The LiP will handle everything else, including liaising with the other side and the court, and will represent themselves at any court hearings.
Don’t make the mistake of regarding court documentation that you have to produce as mere “admin”. It is far more important than that and getting it wrong may have a huge effect on the outcome of the application.
If representing yourself at court is more than you can face and you decide to not to instruct a solicitor to place themselves on the court record, you can instead instruct a direct access barrister to represent you at court. However, this is not the same as using a solicitor. The barrister’s role will be limited to appearing at a hearing and perhaps a conference beforehand. Preparation of the paperwork will mostly be done by you (beware of entrusting the work to AI), or you could use a solicitor to do it on a PAYG basis. PAYG work by a solicitor can mesh neatly with direct access work by counsel.
Launching a court application without getting legal advice beforehand is a mistake. It can be a massive false economy. At the very least you should get some legal advice beforehand, even if you then decide to go it alone. Relying on Google for legal advice is unwise. The internet can only provide you with generalised legal information, rather than advice tailored to your particular circumstances. Advice provided by AI is risky; it is still no match for legal advice provided by a solicitor with years of experience of handling family law cases and can be prone to legal hallucinations, effectively making up the law..
And what should you do if you reach an agreement? If it is an agreement about financial issues n a divorce or dissolution of a civic partnership, it is essential that you get the court to make a financial consent order, which incorporates the terms of your agreement in a legally binding format. See my blog about how to do that here.
Going it alone at court is risky. At the very least, get some legal advice first.
24 October 2026
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